Thursday, 10 March 2011


I have a distinct feeling that he has tried to get an errection but found himself unable to. I had thought that I would feel cheated once I found out but I didn't feel anything other than sympathy. We are still friends and he should try the honesty pill.
He sent me a text just now asking me if I still love him and do I love him?
IDK. I know one thing- I am not ever going back on the vicious cycle. I am not up for the one holding it together knowing that he can't love nor can ever love me. Kim tells me that I am looking for a fairytale love story.
If he had asked me the question a year ago, I would have said yes. Now IDK. Surely thats a tiny step forward?

Not to mention, I like myself a whole lot better. I may not have the sexual animalistic chemistry in my relationship but I revel in the stability and the anchor that its provided me. I like to be loved by someone and being cared for, someone that I can count upon. I can lean on Chris and Chris isn't afraid to lean on me. Stability is what I need.

It has been awhile but I am finally happy and I will not allow him to wreck my life again

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